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The Monkey Kettle Inc. Milton Keynes Pub League Table...
If we here at Monkey Kettle know anything, it's not poetry. It's pubs. And so one day, in a pub as it happens, we hit upon the idea of developing a needlessly complicated scoring system to work out which pubs in our fair city we liked the best. Y'know, as we were going to be in the pub anyway. Basically how it works is that whoever's there votes out of 10 for the various criteria and then we average it out. And of course if a place drastically improves or deteriorates, we rate it again. Y'know, as we were going to be in the pub anyway. Ahem.| PUB NAME | PRI. | ATM. | FAC. | STF. | AES. | SMK. | FD. | TLT. | OH. | MISC. | JUDGES | TOTAL |
| 1. The Slug & Lettuce, CMK | 4.5 (1.5 / 3) |
5.5 | 3.25 | 8 | 6 | 4.5 | 8.5 | 6.5 | 8 | 3 | SE, CT, MMT, HMW | 57.75 |
| 2. The Nag's Head, Great Linford | 7 (3.5 / 3.5) |
6.5 | 5.5 | 5.75 | 7.75 | 3 | 5 | 4.75 | 5 | 5 | SE, CT, MMT, PW | 55.25 |
| 3. The Moon Under Water, CMK | 8 (3.5 / 4.5) |
5.25 | 6 | 4 | 5.5 | 6 | 4.75 | 5 | 10 |
0.5 | SE, CT, MMT, HMW | 55 |
| 4. The Cricketers, Oldbrook | 5.5 (1 / 4.5) |
4.5 | 8 | 5 | 6 | 6.5 | 6 | 2.5 | 7 | 2 | SD, MMT | 53 |
| 5. Wolverton House, Wolverton Mill | 6.5 (2.5 / 4) |
6 | 4 | 7 | 8.5 | 6 | 6 | 6 | ? | 2 | MMT | 52 / 90 |
| 6. The Barn, CMK | 3 (? / 3) |
6.5 | 5.75 | 4.75 | 6 | 6.25 | 5.25 | 5.25 | 7 | 1.5 | SD, SE, MI, CT, MMT, HMW | 51.5 / 95 |
| 7. The Suffolk Punch, Heelands | ? | 5 | 7.25 | 7 | 4.5 | 5.25 | 4.25 | 4.5 | 6 | 4 | SE, CT, MMT, SU, HMW | 47.75 / 90 |
| 8. Yates's, CMK | 6.5 (2.5 / 4) |
4 | 7 | 6.5 | 5 | 5.5 | 5 | 3 | 9 | -2 | SE, MMT | 47.5 |
| 9. Opus, CMK | 7.5 (4 / 3.5) |
5.5 | 3 | 5 | 7 | 3.5 | n/a | 5.5 | ? | 1 | SE, MMT | 36 / 90 |
Correct to 24.11.07
Notes:-
1.
Location used to be a criteria. Then we thought "that's a bit
CMK-centric". So now the only concession to Location is that places
based centrally are listed in green, places half-way out to the borders are amber, and places a long way away unless you have a motor are red. A bit like traffic lights or summink. But the mark is based on quality now not nearness to our houses!
2. Any category that scores over an 8 is emboldened, just so's you can see who's good at what. And likewise a 2 or less is emboldened but queasy. Urgh.
3. Averaged scores are rounded up or down to the nearest quarter - i.e. a 5.83 score becomes 5.75. Blimey, Maths eh?
Categories:-
PRI. - Price - currently split into two: out of 5 for booze and out of 5 for food.
ATM. - Atmosphere - is it full
of chavs, or conducive to animated discussions about poetry? Does
it feel friendly or antagonistic? Or deadly silent?
FAC. - Facilities - for example pool tables, quiz machines, jukebox, cash machine.
STF. - Staff - are they friendly, amenable, foxy? Will they get you a pen if you need one to score their pub?
AES. - Aesthetics - does it
look nice? Inside and out? Is there anything interesting
about it visually that enhances the experience?
SMK. - Smoking Facilities - does Simon have to stand outside on a lonely carpark in the rain, or does he get a nice awning or gazebo?
FD. - Food - irrespective of price, does it taste nice? Dry chips or succulent chops?
TLT. - Toilets - pristine conveniences or piss-filled mank-holes?
OH. - Opening Hours - can you keep drinking into the early hours? Is it open at lunchtime for low-level early boozing?
MISC. - What else has it got that's good? One point extra per good thing!
Rules developed by Simon Edwards, matthew michael taylor, Caroline Thomson, Helen M Wadsworth, (c) 2007.
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