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matthew michael
taylor |
| SIMON FUNCTION : COMMUNITY UNIFIED NETWORKING TECHNICIAN (formerly Assistant Resource Sub-Editor) MOTTO : "Give me... a keg... of beer..." STATS Strength 1 / Intelligence 5 / Speed 6 / Endurance 2 / Rank 8 / Courage 3 / Firepower 8 / Skill 7 PROFILE Simon is a sweaty alcoholic librarian and sexual predator. ABILITIES Sweating, alcoholing, librarianising, sexing and predatorialism. WEAKNESSES See above. |
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JIM FUNCTION : COVER ART, GALLERY LIASON, SCRIVENER, FLARES, CANVASSES DAUBED WHILE U WAIT MOTTO : "I know who I am. They push the buttons." STATS Strength 7 / Intelligence 8 / Speed 7 / Endurance 9 / Rank 8 / Courage 7 / Firepower 3 / Skill 10 PROFILE Usually to be found behind an easel with brush in hand and floppy hat on head, Ole Jim is the consummate artist and etcher-sketcher behind Monkey Kettle covers and exhibitions to boot. ABILITIES Can knock up a Mondrian in less time than it takes for a egg to boil. WEAKNESSES Hedges in the night time. |
| CAPT. DIANE HAINSWORTH FUNCTION : UNKNOWN MOTTO : "Danger! No Danger!" STATS 34 / 26 / 36 PROFILE Possible menace to society, approach with caution. ABILITIES Growing herbs and making people walk. WEAKNESSES Long Island Iced Tea. |
pic to come soon! |
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PHIL W FUNCTION : MUSIC CORRESPONDENT MOTTOES : "Awesome!" // "Dude!" // "Well, how hard can it be?" STATS Strength 6 / Intelligence 8 / Speed 7 / Endurance 9 / Rank 6 / Courage 9 / Firepower 7 / Skill 8 PROFILE Professional enthusiast! Deluded and optimistic about almost everything, he spends his days drawing pictures and his nights playing music. ABILITIES Playing musical instruments (umm, yeah, like all of them). And calming situations. WEAKNESSES Understanding, like what other musicians are talking about when they talk about keys? Or key changes? Or a D major!? (And dudes, like while we're on the subject, what the hell has maths got to do with music?? Are you playing that instrument or is it playing you? Rules! Rules are for The Man! And The Man keeps you down!!) Sorry dudes, forgot what I was talking about then... ;-) |
| MBS FUNCTION : EVENTS MANAGER MOTTO : "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" (Hunter S. Thompson) STATS Strength 9 / Intelligence 8 / Speed 10 (on motorbike), 1 (on foot) / Endurance 5 / Rank 6 / Courage 8 / Firepower 10 / Skill 10 PROFILE Cyber-goth extraordinaire and all round literary marvel. MBS used to be the fastest thing on two wheels, until his bike got nicked. Can now be seen walking around Milton Keynes glowing unhealthily on his way to organising another poetry event! ABILITIES Weaponry comes in the form of giant boots and spiky jewellery. Skills are clubbing and erm, clubbing! WEAKNESSES The Mrs, I just can’t say “no” to her! Shellfish and coconut also reduce my armour rating by 5 points. |
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NIKKI FUNCTION : MORE THAN A DOLL MOTTO : "This can only get more interesting..." STATS Strength 1 / Intelligence 5 / Speed 4 / Endurance 9 / Rank 6 / Courage 3 / Firepower 9 / Skill 8 PROFILE THIS LOVELY nikki DOLL COMES WEARING WHITE PVC SHORTS AND CROP TOP WITH MULTICOLOURED TRIM. SHE COMES COMPLETE WITH PINK BUMBAG, KNEE PADS AND PINK BLADES. SHE ALSO HAS A MULTI COLOURED HAIRBAND, BUT COULD DO WITH A HAIRDO. FULLY MOVEABLE ARMS AND BENDABLE LEGS. COMES WITH SHEBA, COLLAR AND LEASH. WILL QUIETLY ASSASSINATE YOUR CHARACTER WHILE POLITELY SMILING AND NODDING AT WHAT YOU SAY. KEN DOLL AVAILABLE SEPARATELY. ABILITIES Professional mudslinger. The abitily to diffuse or exacerbate situations at
will with the power of persuasion, disguise and deception. Sidekick Sheba works as a diversionary aid. Nikki speaks to squirrels.
WEAKNESSES Extreme temperature. Cute mice. Handsome gentlemen.
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